November 2011
34051) All for attention is it? Fuck you.
These days all i want to do is just be in my bed and sleep. To just lay in one spot for such a long time that I waste away or to sink so far into the bed that the covers swallow me up until I am no more. I’m just so tired all the time, and as I get more tired, sleeping in my bed is the only place I feel comfortable anymore.
Maybe I am just a lazy no hoper like my parents keep calling me,...
20.
Competing against hundreds of talented as fuck people for 20 places at the performance school I am desperate to go to. Only fucking 20 places!!
Why did u put all of my options for next year on this? I am not going to be one of those 20, I can tell already.
I’m so fucking stupid.
In the space of 45 minutes I got called a whore, ferral, no hoper, bitch, lazy, disgusting, ‘it’, a user, disappointing, vomit worthy, unbearable, worthless, low life, nothing and my favourite of all, a cunt.
Got to love when the parents get together and have lecture me over the phone.
I can’t do this anymore, I can’t handle this.
She makes my life hell, I can’t do anything right anymore.
I need to get out but I have no where to go. No one can help.
I can’t do this anymore and I’m not.
I’m not waiting for things to get better anymore, because they’re just not.
I just want to hurry up and fuck up my VCA audition already. I’m fucking sick of all of this.
There is nothing keeping me here anymore.
